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Trying to outsmart the Skullheart.

XeroM

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Filia Fukua
I know, I know... it's impossible. But let's treat this as a game. Let's post possible wishes to try to outsmart the Skullheart and theorize what sort of sick twist the heart would respond with.

I go first:

What if woman wishes to become a man?

Since there cannot be "skullboys" then the heart wouldn't be able to corrupt her/him, right?
 
What if woman wishes to become a man?

Since there cannot be "skullboys" then the heart wouldn't be able to corrupt her/him, right?
I believe the rule is that only women can wish on the Skull Heart. It doesn't specifically say that a man cannot become Skullgirl, so, technically speaking, there is nothing stopping the Skull Heart turning a man into a Skullgirl. Alex has also confirmed that someone who identify as a female would be able to wish on the Skull Heart, even if they aren't physically female.
 
the only way to do so it to create a paradox but it can still go wrong,
 
Alex has also confirmed that someone who identify as a female would be able to wish on the Skull Heart, even if they aren't physically female.

The Skullheart: Sexist, but not transphobic.
 
"Can I get more wishes?"
"I want you to disappear forever"
"Sandwich nam"
"I wish to be a Good Skullgirl"

Meh.
 
"Can I get more wishes?"
"I want you to disappear forever"
"Sandwich nam"
"I wish to be a Good Skullgirl"

Meh.
Which if wishing for more wishes made you a more powerful Skullgirl with each consecutive wish?
It would disappear forever but get another SKullheart to replace it?
What?
What's good to you might not be good to other people.
(Ex Marie, who's killing all the medici but she's still horribly malicious and will kill innocent ones.)
 
Zen's Plan For Outsmarting The Skull Heart

Step 1: Defeat Marie and take the Skull Heart without letting anyone make a wish on it.
Step 2: Enlist the help of people like Isaac with the scientific and magical know-how to find and access the Trinity.
Step 3: Engage in a long philosophical conversation with the Holy Mother and use sly articulation to trick her into making a wish. For example, Mother: "I wish you humans could see the error of your ways..."
Step 4: Remove the Skull Heart from under your cloak like a huge badass and say "Be careful what you wish for!"

Step 5a: Actually I'm not sure what this would even do, I was thinking it would cause some sort of spacial and temporal paradox that would destroy them both. If it does then mission accomplished!
Step 5b: If the Skull Heart did nothing then destroy it on the spot and defeat the Trinity with your own power!
 
Zen's Plan For Outsmarting The Skull Heart

Step 1: Defeat Marie and take the Skull Heart without letting anyone make a wish on it.
Step 2: Enlist the help of people like Isaac with the scientific and magical know-how to find and access the Trinity.
Step 3: Engage in a long philosophical conversation with the Holy Mother and use sly articulation to trick her into making a wish. For example, Mother: "I wish you humans could see the error of your ways..."
Step 4: Remove the Skull Heart from under your cloak like a huge badass and say "Be careful what you wish for!"

Step 5a: Actually I'm not sure what this would even do, I was thinking it would cause some sort of spacial and temporal paradox that would destroy them both. If it does then mission accomplished!
Step 5b: If the Skull Heart did nothing then destroy it on the spot and defeat the Trinity with your own power!

Step 5c: You end up with Skullgirl form Mother and attract Aeon and Venus to the room with all the noise

Better get that Trinity Suplex ready
 
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MOD EDIT: Please spoiler large image macros
 
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Skullheart, I wish for your immediate, permenant, and unconditional destruction.

GG no re.
 
...Question.

If the skullheart was found by someone who wasn't female but wished on the Skullheart to BECOME female, would the wish be granted?

As with regards to outsmarting the skullheart,
Who do you think I am?
 
"Skullheart, make me a sandwich!"

It can't turn me into a Skullgirl if I'm already a sandwich.
But if your meats are made from female animals...
 
Skullheart, accept my wish.
Thats all I got.
 
I wish to never become a Skullgirl!

it cant's be that simple can it?
 
I wish to never become a Skullgirl!
it cant's be that simple can it?
It just turns the closest female in the vicinity into the next Skullgirl.
 
IS the rule that the wish has to be pure, or the girl? Can a pure girl make a selfish wish and become the skullgirl while an impure girl makes a pure wish and is good?

If it's the wish, then you gotta wish for something stupid (Like Peacock's alt ending). Otherwise, it's selfish.

Skullheart! I wish that:
A) Everyone with blue eyes had green eyes, and everyone with green eyes had blue eyes!
B) I had the world's most comfortable panties!
C) The texture of my tongue was less weird when I stop and think about it!
D) We lived in a society where wearing pants was optional, but head wear was strictly enforced!
E) Sharkfire was a word, meaning being as ferocious, baffling, and terrifying as an underwater shark on fire!
F) Box the Bear was a phrase people used all the time, but no one actually knew the phrase's meaning!
G) All cotton was pre-shrunk, so no one would have to go through the pain of getting a shirt they think fits only to shrink it and be screwed!
 
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Anything along the lines of "destroy yourself" it just duplicates itself first. It simply ignores impossible wishes and waits for something/someone else (it's robots that blow up when they hear a paradox).

What if woman wishes to become a man?

Since there cannot be "skullboys" then the heart wouldn't be able to corrupt her/him, right?

That one's easy, it turns you into a hermaphrodite.

IS the rule that the wish has to be pure, or the girl? Can a pure girl make a selfish wish and become the skullgirl while an impure girl makes a pure wish and is good?

The wish, judging by Filia's ending.
Skullheart said:
Your wish is pure...almost.
 
As the unused story endings present in the game's file will tell us, the skull heart is capable of outright denying wishes.

Ending B
Peacock:
Well, what the hell - not very often you get wishes.
May as well wish for something cool.
Skull Heart! I wish for all the world's oxygen to turn into chocolate!

Skull Heart:
Your wish is grant...
...Wait, really? You can't possibly be serious.

Peacock:
What? Why wouldn't I be? That would be awesome!

Skull Heart:
My power has limits, girl. You'll have to wish for something else.

Peacock:
What a rip-off!
Uh... well, can you make everyone in the world turn into adorable puppies?

Skull Heart:
No, I can not.
And, even if I could, I would not.

Peacock:
I fight all the way here and I can't even get what I want?
Some wish-granting doodad you turned out to be.
Hey, why do you only grant wishes to women, anyway?
Are you a dude?

Skull Heart:
...Look, I didn't make the rules.
Are you going to make a wish or...

Peacock:
...And what's with that seven year thing, anyway?
Seems pretty arbitrary, if you ask me.

Skull Heart:
Something about the alignment of the stars, I think.
Are you going to make a real wish or not?

Peacock:
Ooh, ooh! What if...

Skull Heart:
...Dammit, where is Double?
She's supposed to keep people like you away from me.

Peacock:
Oh, so now you're too good for me, are you?
Maybe if your legend had been a little more specific I'd know these things!

Skull Heart:
...Really?
Do you know how long it took us to even get this far?
Centuries of whisper campaigns and information control!
I must say, I've been doing this for thousands of years, and you are the worst wisher I've seen yet.
Because of this, the skullheart has to be willing to grant the wish first. To "outsmart" the skullheart, your wish needs to be a legitimate one, meaning that most of the "successful" wishes in this thread so far would probably be outright denied.
 
I kinda think that unused ending was meant more as light-hearted comic relief than a canon representation on how the Skullheart responds to wishes.
 
How to Trick the Skullheart Into Giving you a Wish if you Are a Guy
Step 1. Obtain disguise kit from TF2.
Step 2. Disguise as a woman
Step 3. Obtain the Skullheart
Step 4. Make a wish
Step 5. ?????
Step 6. PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations! You just tricked the Skullheart into giving a wish to a guy!
 
Alright I can take a crack at some of these

What if woman wishes to become a man?

"The body of a man you shall have, but the mind and the heart of a woman beat on. Have fun being a skullgirl, brother."

"Can I get more wishes?"

"With the Skullgirl's power in your veins, you can have as many as you like."

"I want you to disappear forever"

"We shall become one then."

"Sandwich nam"

"Hope you like that with mayo and extra Skullgirl."

"I wish to be a Good Skullgirl"

"Oh you will be the best."

Skullheart, I wish for your immediate, permenant, and unconditional destruction.

GG no re.

"If that is your wish, so be it."
*new Skull Heart descends from the heavens*
"We shall destroy this relic together then."

...Question.

If the skullheart was found by someone who wasn't female but wished on the Skullheart to BECOME female, would the wish be granted?

"Sorry bro, no can do."

"Skullheart, make me a sandwich!"

It can't turn me into a Skullgirl if I'm already a sandwich.

*Skull Heart creates two pieces of bread and squishes you between them*
"A human sandwich is still a sandwich.

Skullheart, accept my wish.

"You got it, let's head on down the Skullgirl city."

I wish to never become a Skullgirl!

it cant's be that simple can it?

"That wish sounds pretty impure to me. Sucks I can't grant it, but for making it I'll turn you into a Skullgirl for your troubles."

A) Everyone with blue eyes had green eyes, and everyone with green eyes had blue eyes!

"You'd change the lives of others to suit your own entertainment, selfish!"

B) I had the world's most comfortable panties!

"Seeking comfort is a part of greed."

C) The texture of my tongue was less weird when I stop and think about it!

"And preferring ignorance to discomfort is the same as seeking comfort."

D) We lived in a society where wearing pants was optional, but head wear was strictly enforced!

"Changing the world to fit your own sick desires. Plus seeking comfort."

E) Sharkfire was a word, meaning being as ferocious, baffling, and terrifying as an underwater shark on fire!

"You seem to like this word, it's existence would make you happy. Why, that's some top quality impurity I smell."

F) Box the Bear was a phrase people used all the time, but no one actually knew the phrase's meaning!

"And you'd get quite the laugh from that wouldn't you, so selfish."

G) All cotton was pre-shrunk, so no one would have to go through the pain of getting a shirt they think fits only to shrink it and be screwed!

"No one including you? That's an impure wish if I ever heard one."

"Skullheart, I wish I knew what the fuck I was doing."

"It's your lucky day, I can show you."
 
"Skullheart, I wish I could fly to space!"

"Um... sure... enjoy being a space-themed Skullgirl- wait, what are you doing?"

"WE'RE FLYING TO SPAAAAACE!!!!!"
 
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"Skullheart... I wish."

"Well whatever you wanna wish you better hurry up before that other Skullgirl regenerates and kills you."
 
"That IS The wish. I wish."

"That's not a wish, that's a sentence fragment. If you actually wanted something say it now because if not I've got a perfectly serviceable host who doesn't give me sass about this garbage."
 
What if, and this ties into a stupid OC I made many moons ago that I haven't really done anything with, a man were to, whether magically or whatever, get stuck in the physical body of a woman and wish to be returned to their original body?

On top of that, what if they were to be made both phyisically and mentally female and then ask "be returned to who I was before, as a man!"?
 
"That's not a wish, that's a sentence fragment. If you actually wanted something say it now because if not I've got a perfectly serviceable host who doesn't give me sass about this garbage."
"I wish Patricia Watson will wish on you."

EDIT: I'm going to do a Non-Meta wish that sounds really stupid.
"Skullheart, I wish for Wing Zero to marry Filia."
 
The issue with this is that the Heart doesn't seem to have any actual rules. You can't outsmart something that can choose to interpret your wish in whatever way it wants.
To compound it, even if you did somehow lock the Heart into a fool proof, no possible alternate interpretations wish, the act of trying to outsmart the Heart is in itself a selfish act because you're trying to prove yourself smarter and superior to the Heart.

You're a Skullgirl no matter how you try to spin it.
 
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Serious talk.
Eliza can be considered a 'woman' but why can't her wishes be fulfilled? This still leads to the theory of how the Skullheart can bend the rules to its liking and by its own will. So, Cellsai, the Skullheart has no exact rules but does it have its own intentions? Seems that people always say that the Skullheart is indirectly sentient but is driven by Venus and/or Aeon, thus the Skullheart only accepts commands from them.