Scientists Link DDB to Rapidly Approaching Annie Singularity

Discussion in 'News Section' started by Kai, Jan 3, 2014.

By Kai on Jan 3, 2014 at 5:55 PM
  1. Kai

    Kai Go Home And Be A Family Man! Beowulf

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    Scientists Link DDB to Rapidly Approaching Annie Singularity
    News • Science & Technology • Jan 3, 2014

    [​IMG]

    MEYRIN, SWITZERLAND — According to a new study released this week by CERN Professor of Molecular Energy Johan Rekel, the physical plane we inhabit may be rapidly approaching a singularity event tied directly to the frequency of Skullheart user DDB's queries about Annie's inclusion in the game Skullgirls.

    “Though it's important that we've released these findings, I fear we may have already passed the 'when's Annie?' event horizon,” said the 31-year-old scientist, shaking his head. “I want to believe that we can counteract what's happening, but... I don't know.”

    “At this point, most of the posts about Annie are actually just imprint events from other timelines collapsing into our own,” Rekel continued. “How do you moderate time slippage!?”

    Throughout the study, numerous milestone events were described, including the first-ever time that DBB inquired about Annie's possible appearance in the game on July 26th, 1977. Another entry detailed DDB's alarmingly extensive collection of Annie, Girl Of The Stars memorabilia, which (in conjunction with the volumes of Annie rule 34) has inexplicably become the focal point of the dimensional rift currently expected to engulf all of known existence.

    "It's a matter of priorities, at this point," said Michael Zaimont, main programmer and public face of Skullgirls developer Lab Zero. "We're not working on putting Annie in the game right now. I mean, yeah, singularity or whatever, but we've got commitments to meet."

    “And besides, we've got Robo Fortune coming,” Zaimont went on to say. “That's at least as exciting as Annie, am I right?”

    At current rates, the Annie Singularity is expected to occur at 7:18 AM on May 8th, 2014. As of press time, DDB had been informed of his role in the impending cataclysm and was quoted as saying, "when's Annie?"

    UPDATE (open)
    As millions gathered outside of their chosen religious institution, seeking some refuge against the impending doom poised to rend apart their very existence, a few devoted scientists continue to monitor the situation. The hour has come and gone, but existence as we know it has gone seemingly unchanged.

    Seemingly being the operative word, however. Initial reports from the scientific community have revealed that all signs of Annie Rays (the background radiation that lets scientists detect Annie) have disappeared. A new series of signs have been detected, though, and the scientific community has begun to call these waves, "Anti-Annie."

    "It's remarkable!" said scientist Johan Rekel, still alive after the proposed end of the world. "Instead of destroying our own universe, the Annergy transferred to another plane of existence, creating an entirely new dimension made up entirely of Annie!"

    "It appears all signs of Annie are gone from our world."

    Several cults have sprung up in the hours following the news, claiming that Annie has now ascended to Godhood, while most have simply written off the entire event as either a hoax or a historic misunderstanding. One scientist felt that none of these was correct, though.

    "We'll never be able to fully determine what happened, in truth." Ken Renoit, head of the Theoretical Physics department at MIT, had a fringe theory. "But I believe that all signs of Annie are gone forever, and Annie will never, ever, ever be seen here in playable form."

    "To enter the dimension where Annie is everything, you'd have to build some kind of crude, home-made interdimensional travel device, but I frankly can't think of anyone crazy enough to try that."
     

Comments

Discussion in 'News Section' started by Kai, Jan 3, 2014.

    1. Metafogos

      Metafogos Active Member

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      OMG!!!!

      I even know what i say now...
       
    2. POS Industries

      POS Industries Starring Glenn Close as POS Industries

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      Los Angeles, CA
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      All we need now is our own equivalent of Kelly cartoons and this community will be heading in an exciting new direction.
       
    3. Kai

      Kai Go Home And Be A Family Man! Beowulf

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      That WOULD be amazing.

      I can already see a comically overdone Mike Z buffing Filia again because he hates America.
       
    4. Vladislav_Paizis

      Vladislav_Paizis On hiatus from SG

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      Very relevant news. This definitely needed to be on the front page. Keep it up, SG community!
       
    5. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

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      Oh god help me
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      Hm. Only approaching?

      Does the singularity at least mean it's Annie time?
       
      klaww likes this.
    6. Makross

      Makross Average Joe

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      makr0ss
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      We have to go back and prevent Alex from putting Annie in the DLC vote list.
       
    7. Zidiane

      Zidiane Doing my best

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      I'm pretty sure that according to the laws of relativity, which in this case mean the faster you are posting the slower in time you move, Annie has already happened and you missed it. The rest of us have enjoyed Annie and are now old men. Skullgirls has already become a lost masterpiece with 47 characters (13 of which were Annie), and you are somehow still posting in a board filled with cobwebs and forgotten dreams.
       
    8. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

      Location:
      Oh god help me
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      DDB of the Stars
      PSN:
      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      So you're saying she's coming.
       
      Shiro_Shishi likes this.
    9. Muro

      Muro Dazed Muro Announcer

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      I see the News Section is in good hands.
       
    10. EA575

      EA575 A title is supposed to go here

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      You guys are awesome.
       
    11. LaCheshireZorua

      LaCheshireZorua People die when they are dead.

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      Unknown
      So, is DDB mad that you guys made this? I personally find this hilarious. :D

      Muro's right; the news section is in good hands. :D
       
    12. scrubbyscum999

      scrubbyscum999 The dream is on hold, till I get my stick back.

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      Mrs Victoria > Annie
       
    13. BrandX+

      BrandX+ ~Sinning in Vegas by the day~

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      This is the best article ever made. 10/10
       
      DDB and scrubbyscum999 like this.
    14. Φ

      Φ Pessimistic bitch

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      Awww shiet... better run to my anti shit storm bunker... I can feel a big storm comin'.
       
    15. scrubbyscum999

      scrubbyscum999 The dream is on hold, till I get my stick back.

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      Washington DC/Orlando, Florida
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      Bitch, have you seen me in the SG community. I create storms for delight. Nevertheless, this time I am only speaking the truth. Anyone want to prove anything is better than Mrs Victoria? Come at me bro.
       
    16. Φ

      Φ Pessimistic bitch

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      California
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      Lisa is better than Ms. Victoria... but Lisa isn't in SG... Uhh... have you ever seen dem hips on Double? Sexy.
       
    17. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

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      Oh god help me
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      Filia
      Quite the opposite, I enjoy that this has happened.
       
      Denizen likes this.
    18. YoYoCheese

      YoYoCheese World's Freest Scrub

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      No one cares about Annie. Umbrella's inevitable conquest of everything is fast approaching. Salt only hastens her war campaign of ICE CREAM AND DEATH! And then we can begin the wait for No Evil.
       
      Skittylover228 and Broseidon Rex like this.
    19. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

      Location:
      Oh god help me
      Steam:
      DDB of the Stars
      PSN:
      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      Saltgirls, never forget.
       
      klaww and opt4shenanigans like this.
    20. Tank

      Tank Well-Known Member

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      um could some one explain the original post in common english for me? What parts are jokes whats parts are real?
       
      Last edited: Jan 27, 2014
    21. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

      Location:
      Oh god help me
      Steam:
      DDB of the Stars
      PSN:
      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      The answer is yes.
       
    22. LOLLOLOL with this article, you guys have reached the highest rung on the ladder of human thought.
       
      DDB likes this.
    23. ... has inexplicably become the focal point of the dimensional rift currently expected to engulf all of known existence.

      "It's a matter of priorities, at this point," said Michael Zaimont,

      lol what a transition! Mike Z pragmatic to the end. lol
       
      DDB likes this.
    24. Crayolan

      Crayolan And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to...

      Peacock
      Cerebella
      Squigly
      #DEAD
       
    25. LordCeno

      LordCeno High-tech lowlife

      PSN:
      LordCeno
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      Due to a scheduling conflict, future appearances of Annie will be portrayed by Hunico.
       
    26. Crayolan

      Crayolan And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to...

      Peacock
      Cerebella
      Squigly
      Obviously the Annie in motion thread has accelerated the pace of the impending Doomsday, so there's only one option...

      Return to the past and undo the future that is Skullmageddon.

      [​IMG]
       
    27. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

      Location:
      Oh god help me
      Steam:
      DDB of the Stars
      PSN:
      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      It occurred to me. Alex has known it was coming for a while.

      [​IMG]
       
    28. gluemchen

      gluemchen BUTTONS KAPPA

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      I laughed so hard my bladder couldn't stand the stress. 10/10
       
      WrestlerGuile likes this.
    29. BrandX+

      BrandX+ ~Sinning in Vegas by the day~

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      Today is the day...
       
      EA575, Kai, Woofly and 1 other person like this.
    30. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

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      Oh god help me
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      DDB of the Stars
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      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      If we were to go by my EST time frame...

      We have 38 minutes.
       
      Kai and Woofly like this.
    31. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

      Location:
      Oh god help me
      Steam:
      DDB of the Stars
      PSN:
      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      Annie is now, Annie is all.

      This is where it all truly begins.

      Be ready, Starchildren. We are now one with The Stars themselves.
       
      Kai likes this.
    32. Muro

      Muro Dazed Muro Announcer

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    33. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

      Location:
      Oh god help me
      Steam:
      DDB of the Stars
      PSN:
      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      Anniepocalypse has been reported to have begun in the West Coast of America now!
       
      Kai likes this.
    34. Clawsome Bombs

      Clawsome Bombs H E I S T B O Y S before GTAV lol

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      Wait, what happens today?

      Edit: *reads OP*

      oh right that star thing
       
    35. Muro

      Muro Dazed Muro Announcer

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      May 8th 2014 - Annie Singularity
      Annie - green outfit, green hair

      May 8th 2014 - SCEJ Fukua build and XBLA Fukua patch submitted
      Fukua - green outfit, green hair
      Show Spoiler
      [​IMG]
       
      z0nie and Kai like this.
    36. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

      Location:
      Oh god help me
      Steam:
      DDB of the Stars
      PSN:
      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      I gotta build that device.
       
    37. DDB

      DDB Annie Train into Callie Station!

      Location:
      Oh god help me
      Steam:
      DDB of the Stars
      PSN:
      DiddyBound
      Ms. Fortune
      Beowulf
      Filia
      Fukua Story Spoilers (open)
      [​IMG]

      But what if Nightphyre was just a few days off on the whole "Anniepocalypse" thing?
       
      Last edited: May 13, 2014
      Colossi, EA575, Kai and 1 other person like this.
    38. ...You know, I honestly didn't think anyone would make a picture of this.
       
    39. TechPowah

      TechPowah Just a simple Hero

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      Wait, this was my birthday
      guys help me
      help meeeeee
       

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