• As part of the relaunch of Skullheart, ALL previous threads have been archived. You can find them at the bottom of the forum in the Archives (2021) section. The archives are locked, so please use the new forum sections to create new discussion threads.

Naïve/Stupid things you thought as a kid.

Cheesedragon

Cheesedragon

I like to eat cake while excruciating.
Joined
Oct 5, 2013
Messages
837
Reaction score
483
Points
63
Age
29
Location
Lala Land* (*Permanent place of abode.)
Steam
SilentSynthesis
Painwheel Peacock Big Band
This thread always gets plenty of laughs on FP, so I'm eager to see how it rolls over with Skullheart's witty humor.


Well, thread title is self explanatory, just try as hard as you can to dredge up those distant childhood memories and along with it all they completely asinine things you believed to be true, either from your own imagination or stuff your parents told you to keep you out of trouble. Most common ones are probably "girls pee from their butts" and "they have to re-shoot the movie every time it plays on the tv"

Also, first person to say "God" has to listen to this
 
  • Like
Reactions: KaboomKid
All babies come out of the mothers belly button. Chest Burster style.

I was born via cesarean section so this is slightly justified for my young mind.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kongk4 and KaboomKid
When I was a kid I thought everyone would get along, I was so wrong.

I thought the TV would pause whenever I would turn it off, so when I went out with my parents I always thought Kim Possible would be back on when I came back.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Magma442 and Sparties
Whenever the computer told me that a program performed an illegal operation, I would run to my parents and ask them if I was in trouble. This was on Windows 95, so for a while this exchange happened at least five times a day.

I also used to think that fish lived inside waterbeds. Multiple times I'd ask my friend if we could open up his mom's waterbed so I could look for baby sharks.

Oh, and back when I was really little, I thought Flintstones vitamins were candy. One time I managed to get the jar open by myself, and I ate almost the whole thing in one sitting. Thankfully my parents took me to the hospital, but I actually never had a distaste for vitamins after that. If my parents hadn't told me why I got sick, I might have done it again!

So yeah, parents are awesome.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: KiokuChan, Brog and North888
KaboomKid said:
Whenever the computer told me that a program performed an illegal operation, I would run to my parents and ask them if I was in trouble. This was on Windows 95, so for a while this exchange happened at least five times a day.

I also used to think that fish lived inside waterbeds. Multiple times I'd ask my friend if we could open up his mom's waterbed so I could look for baby sharks.

Oh, and back when I was really little, I thought Flintstones vitamins were candy. One time I managed to get the jar open by myself, and I ate almost the whole thing in one sitting. Thankfully my parents took me to the hospital, but I actually never had a distaste for vitamins after that. If my parents hadn't told me why I got sick, I might have done it again!

So yeah, parents are awesome.

How can vitamins kill you?
 
Vitamins normally have negative side effects when in excess.

When i was i child, i thought the actors of the movies really speaked portuguese, i didn't know about dubbing, and that films were made in english.
 
When I was a kid, I thought that a Hurricane was a bird that would fly around super fast and snag kids that were outside and that's why I wasn't allowed outside during one.
 
calvin15.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kongk4, 3 Eyes and KaboomKid
One of my first memories involves thinking that you can't poop underwater, for example during a bath.

To be more precise, I was confident that in such a situation poop automatically turns into fart as it's released in water.

I decided to perform science and test my theory during a bath one day - and was rather perplexed by the unexpected result.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kongk4, Brog, Jutsei and 4 others
I thought cartoons were done by actors in cartoon suits.
 
My brother told me he would take my eyes off with a spoon during the night I believed him and passed various nights asleep whenever I remembered
He really tried one time
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Denizen
i was so paranoid of swimming in deep water when i was little that during my swim lessons, i had a fit and claimed that there was a great white in the deep end of the pool.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Denizen
I tought Santa Claus was real.
 
I thought corned beef was somehow affected by corn.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cheesedragon
When I was little I thought only girls can do number 1 and guys can do number 2. I also thought that girls were supposed to be skinny and guys were supposed to be thick. yeah, I didn't know much when I was a kid, I thought I wasn't normal
 
One Time My parents told me that babies were made through kissing at like age 7. 4 years later I confronted my parents that it was a lie and somehow walked away believing that babies were still made through kissing for another 2 years.
 
I remember back when I was 5 or 6, a high school kid on the bus said he put a spell on me, and I was gonna turn into frog overnight. I went to bed terrified, and I don't think I got any sleep. Really didn't wanna be a frog.

I also used to think my parents could read my every thought, and would just pretend they couldn't to trick me into thinking something to catch me when I lied, even though most of the time, they didn't actually catch me when I would lie about something. I thought it was this giant scheme they had going against me. It's also why I thought my mom would know that I was just pretending to be sick to get out of going to school.
 
i believed in the myth that pelicans delivered babies.

at night, the motion-sensing light in our driveway was real finnicky and turned on and off because cats liked to hang around our house.
it casted a huge shadow in my room that i believed was something similar to:

a) the babadook

or

b) the silhouette of jaws, so i thought a fucking shadow shark was coming to kill me.
 
When I was a kid, I thought teachers stayed in school overnight.
 
I thought we lived inside the earth, and that the globe showed the sky from the outside and the continents were false colored satellite images of clouds.

I thought when numbers got into the hundreds they went to the next hundred after 10. So when you got to 100, you'd count to 109 then you'd hit 200.

I thought drinking and driving was illegal because you wouldn't be able to see over your cup as you drive.
 
When I was a kid I thought I could come right up to celebrities to ask them for money and they would happily give it to me. Hell, maybe someone can do it now!
 
grossvamp said:
i used to imagine that cartoon characters were actually real and i could visit them

b

but i still do that
 
  • Like
Reactions: Brog and Muro
I thought the boogieman was real.

That's pretty stupid.
 
Dagwood said:
My cousin told me if you swallowed Gum then you had to have surgery to get it removed
This actually can happen; it's rare, but possible for it to get trapped when it passes the appendix. If it's not removed, it'll cause appendicitis.

Trying to keep this one as PG-13 as possible
When I was about 10 years old, I thought girls only had the same "larger" hole in the pelvic region as I have, and that all "baby-making" happened through that hole.
 
When I was younger I thought if I threw a bouncy ball at the ground hard enough it would stay in the air.

Also my friend told me when he was younger he thought a man was a big guy that punches flowers.
 
I thought Christianity was one big happy family that supported everyone they could.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MedusaOnAPlane and Jimbob
Holy crap, i can't believe i just remembered this.

One time, my sister actually convinced me that George Bush had ordained a new number, between between four and five, called "more". I got a few bad grades in math class until someone corrected me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back