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The last phrase is a Russian joke from a funny story:
"A Frenchman, a Japanese, and a Russian are captured by an alien. He locks them in a cell without any items or holes and demands that they entertain him using two steel balls – the winner will be released, the others will be executed. A week later, the Frenchman demonstrates a juggling trick with the balls. The Japanese has created a rock garden. However the Russian is declared winner: he broke one ball, and lost another one."
I'm guessing that's some sort of innuendo I'm not getting...
Going to look through the comic later~
I'm guessing that's some sort of innuendo I'm not getting...
Going to look through the comic later~
That's just play on the fact that Russians are so crazy they can lost and broke two solid steel balls in completely sealed cell without any items. Like, how can you possibly do that?
"We tried to recall what we were doing all this time in futile hope that we will recall everything differently all of a sudden."
The "tried" and "will recall" don't really imply the same tense.
I would re-write this to "we are trying to recall what we were doing all this time in futile hope that we will recall everything differently all of a sudden", or alternatively "we were trying to recall what we were doing all this time in futile hope that we would recall everything differently all of a sudden".
"Tried to earn Johnny Loverboy’s trust."
I would add "we" to the beginning, to become "we tried to earn Johnny Loverboy's trust".
"Were listening to Johnny The Coin’s song."
Again, I'd put the "we" at the beginning.
"Fought Johnny The Jail."
Also put "we" here, as well as with the line "Got Johnny The Soldier his gun".
Also, I'd consider putting the different Johnny nicknames in quotations, as when nicknames are presented with the person's normal name as well we use quotations to signify that, I.E. "Johnny "The Soldier", Johnny "Loverboy", Johnny "The Coin".
"One Johnny led to another, second to third, and this endless flow stirred me towards madness.".
I'd replace the comma with a semi-colon, as these ideas aren't exactly connected enough for a comma to fit.
"One Johnny led to another, the second led to the third; this endless flow stirred me towards madness".
"It was like me and Shiznagsingerzuppe were lost in the Labyrinth which didn’t even have David Bowie in it."
I laughed at this quite a bit.
I'd re-write this to "It was like me and Shiznagsingerzuppe were lost in a version of the Labyrinth without David Bowie in it."
"And if it had they would call him Johnny Bowie."
I would re-write this to "And if it did have him, they would call him Johnny Bowie".
"It was like me and Shiznagsingerzuppe were lost in the Labyrinth which didn’t even have David Bowie in it."
I laughed at this quite a bit.
I'd re-write this to "It was like me and Shiznagsingerzuppe were lost in a version of the Labyrinth without David Bowie in it."
Can I go "It was like me and Shiznagsingerzuppe were lost in A labyrinth which didn’t even have David Bowie in it."?
That would be closer to original.
I decided to not put names in quotations, since its more like their actual names instead of nicknames. Like Boris The Animal in MIB3. So it's less like "Hey look! It's Boris Borshinsky, also known as "The Animal"!" and more like just "Hey Look! It's Boris The Animal!". They just call them Johnny Forty Crutches and Johnny The Onion all the time.
Panel 1
- "Remind me what we were doing all this time"
- "We were trying to recall what we were doing in futile hope that we would recall everything differently."
> Nothing much. Just switched we and were in the first bubble for better flow and chopped off an entire bit from the second bubble for the same reason.
Panel 9
> You misspelled leads into leeds here. :P
> Is that supposed to be stirred? I feel like it should be steered?
"It was like me and shiznagsingerzuppe were lost in a labyrinth without David Bowie in it. And if it did have him, they would call him Johnny Bowie."
ehehehehehehehehehe
Ok, that got me.
Panel 1
- "Remind me what we were doing all this time"
- "We were trying to recall what we were doing in futile hope that we would recall everything differently."
> Nothing much. Just switched we and were in the first bubble for better flow and chopped off an entire bit from the second bubble for the same reason.
Panel 9
> You misspelled leads into leeds here. :P
> Is that supposed to be stirred? I feel like it should be steered?
"It was like me and shiznagsingerzuppe were lost in a labyrinth without David Bowie in it. And if it did have him, they would call him Johnny Bowie."
ehehehehehehehehehe
Ok, that got me.
Okay guys. This is an interesting one. I translated Russian song again. But this time it has AMV going on! With animu in it! So that's cool, right? Right.
Collar's upturned / cash's minute
He's not young and / drunk as a coot
He is strung-up / don't pick a bone
When he's leaving / he walks alone
> But this friend of mine
> Is the best at playing blues
> More than anyone
> He excels at playing blues
He's not fond of / fancy words
He regards you / as pile of turds
Bet he even / would play in a morgue
Doesn't care if / he is adored
> But this friend of mine
> Is the best at playing blues
> More than anyone
> He excels at playing blues
Breath this night out / breath day in
Non-survivor's / future's grim
Desperation / the soul in strife
Goes from the sax and / to the knife
> But this friend of mine
> Is the best at playing blues
> More than anyone
> He excels at playing blues
Collar's upturned / cash's minute
He's not young and / drunk as a coot
Desperation / the soul in strife
Goes from the sax and / to the knife
> But this friend of mine
> Is the best at playing blues
> More than anyone
> He excels at playing blues
Did he just try to break the glass with a gun
I still love these, though
edit:
daaamn, is this even the same guy?
The artwork is so good now, compared to when we started.
there are several years between first strip and last. he was EXCEPTIONALY slow creator. now he's doing lots of practicing and also posts at least monthly, so yeah. he's getting better on all fronts.
Like, I love how terribad the old strips were and I kinda miss them, but
I would legitimately buy a physical graphic novel in this style.
MAKE HIM SELF-PUBLISH A BOOK, OR EVEN APPROACH A PUBLISHER
IF NOT A COHERENT STORY, THEN A COLLECTION OF ONE-OFF TALES
Panel 5- "The pistol is still in the toil" I didn't change anything, I'm just confused what the toil is.
Panel 8 - You forgot a "of" there, should be "he reminded me of my young self." Should just barely fit.
Panel 10 - "Hm. Looks like the mystery's missing link fell into my hands." or "Hm. Looks like the mystery's missing link just fell into my hands."
Second one is better but the first one will work in a pinch if it doesn't fit.
Is this a running storyline? I think I missed a few chapters ^-^"
Like, I love how terribad the old strips were and I kinda miss them, but
I would legitimately buy a physical graphic novel in this style.
MAKE HIM SELF-PUBLISH A BOOK, OR EVEN APPROACH A PUBLISHER
IF NOT A COHERENT STORY, THEN A COLLECTION OF ONE-OFF TALES
One of these days, my friend. ONE OF THESE DAYS!!!
Also, another translated song. That's not an official video for it.
I'm one of those, who hides instead of leaving
Who could go on, but doesn't go instead
Who could speak up, but waits in silent dread
Whose spirit's down, who's not a true believer
My soul is mute with tears it's getting wet
I sang a tune - there wasn't any singing
I'm tired of songs, can't start a new beginning
I cannot take first step and cannot look ahead
I'm one, whose mind is stuck in better times
I'm one, whose voice is faint, and that is why
It doesn't call onwards to shining heights
I'm kind soul, but my deeds were never any kind
I'm weakling of a bird, it's hard to flap my wings
I'm one, who's close to death and who can feel it
And though it might be hard for me to sing
But I am singing still, for someone's gonna hear it
One of these days, my friend. ONE OF THESE DAYS!!!
IS THERE A RUSSIAN KICKSTARTER
Also, it's nitpicky, but V.2 a minor change I'd recommend:
Panel 8 - He was just as zany as I was at his age
Don't how how it slipped past me but it did.
*whisper*
remember that gay fan fiction of this webcomic
you said you'd translate that
I've been waiting all this time
:c
*whisper
There is, but it's not an easy thing to drive to success. He has a patreon though. We're still figuring out how we should organize it with translations and stuff though. Here it is. He's working on a site atm, where we could upload all the English strips. Once it's done, Patreon will make more sense.
And I remember about that fanfic. I just didn't tackle solid textwalls before. I guess I'll try to do it now. I also started to write tiny stories everyday myself, but it'll be hard to translate those, since there are shitload of them already and I have to write a new one everyday due to a challenge's rules =/
There is, but it's not an easy thing to drive to success. He has a patreon though. We're still figuring out how we should organize it with translations and stuff though. Here it is. He's working on a site atm, where we could upload all the English strips. Once it's done, Patreon will make more sense.
*quietly hopes for his success because I am broke*
What are the patron rewards tho
Also, what's with him and guns and toilets.
First it was trying to unclog a toilet by shooting it then now all this
And here's your yaoi fanfic:
- Ropsenshtils, why are you putting salt in your tea? – Shiznagsingerzuppe exquisitely stuck out little finger and put his cup on the table while looking at his partner meaningfully.
- Everything is brilliantly simple, my friend. I’m just extravagant.
- Extravagance is extravagance, but you’re not going to drink it, are you?
Ropsenshtils just sighed in return and bit off his cup. Tea started to pour out on the floor in a thin salty stream.
- You found your cup tastier than the tea after all?
- I already told you why you shouldn’t use irony.
Shiznagsingerzuppe breathed out with grief and pointed his thoughtful sight at the wall. It was covered in white wallpapers with red hares on them and Shiznagsingerzuppe perceived it as blasphemous.
Door opened, Ropsenshtils sighed again.
- Behold your ignorance mortals! Puny little people I am great and powerful Brilliant Inventor Of Inventions! – pleased with his speech, Brilliant Inventor Of Inventions stood in the threshold, emanating pathos and madness.
Intrigued, Shiznagsingerzuppe turned to him.
- You wanted something?
- Kneel before my brilliance! – doctor laughed triumphantly.
Ropsenshtils wearily bit off another piece of his cup.
- So?
Brilliant Inventor Of Inventions stood in shame at the threshold but maintained his behavior.
- On your knees puny ones before my creation smite you!
- The Capital of Monomotap Empire? – inquired Ropsenshtils with faked enthusiasm.
- Ummm…
Inventor faltered. Gun banged.
- By God, Ropsenshtils, you should quit your habit to shoot people for not knowing the capital of Monomotap, – Shiznagsingerzuppe wearily put his palm on his eyes.
- He was speaking without commas next to addresses. That was enough of a reason.
- I guess…
- You have to understand, Shiznagsingerzuppe, we are in the yaoi fanfic and I don’t have underwear under my skirt. You think we need him?
- Good thing you’re not in your underwear. Those horrible boxers stuck out of your miniskirt, - Shiznagsingerzuppe shuddered at the memory.
Ropsenshtils snorted ambiguously.
- How are we going to get out of this predicament?
- Same way they always do it in yaoi fanfics. I’m going to wipe the tea puddle, you’re getting tempted by my rear end and then we retire to the bedroom.
Black puddle of salty tea gleamed ominously on the floor, and Ropsenshtils suddenly realized that he’s in love with it. He bumped Shiznagsingerzuppe’s lap with his stiletto and went in the direction of the bedroom.
- I’m extravagant, - stated Ropsenshtils.
- That’s fine too.
Shiznagsingerzuppe sighed and followed his partner hopelessly.
I translated a song! Again. I don't even know why am I doing it.
No video this time because there's none. Youtube has only two vids with this song and both has shitty version of the song itself.
You can listen to it from here: https://cloud.mail.ru/public/59PukMcByGW4/09 - Воскресенье.mp3
Wind of the lucky success died out on barren crossroads
I was considering silent my victorious verse
Moment was floating in blind void, it was all but eternal for me
The patience of my long waiting was, like a shadow at dusk,
Reaching out to the distant frontier
My desperation - looks deep in my soul
And prophesises that thousands of perils will gather their toll
But I am breaking - these nightmarish ties
My heart is longing for the new dream shining bright as the sun in the skies
Should raging temper be tamed, when you know that the goal isn't close?
Is there a destiny's rim, beyond which I can find my repose?
Losing your faith isn't hard when it's calm and your luck's getting worse
Still, keeps on moving ahead my victorious verse. My victorious verse!
If hope gets corrupted - by doubt like infection
And darkness will fall down and over the world will obscurity rise
Still, there's no hindrance - to my resurrection
My heart is longing for the new dream shining bright as the sun in the skies
~guitar time~
If hope gets corrupted - by doubt like infection
And darkness will fall down and over the world will obscurity rise
Still, there's no hindrance - to my resurrection
My heart is longing for the new dream shining bright as the sun in the skies
@Fumako, @Meow-Professor, Ropsen site is now live. Check it out!
Feel free to comment there if you find more mistakes or have any suggestions. The same goes for his Patreon.
edit:
So, new chapters are just going to go up on the site?
If so, are comics going to go up there immediately? If so, are we still needed for proofreading? If so, where do we present any proofreading we do?
Extremely excited~ Is there actually a storyline brewing now or is it still, what seemed to me, still one off? I love both, I love the creativity present in his work but imagining what he could do with a full blown arc is hhhnnnngggg
@Not-So-Saint
Had to tag you because I had the idea of actually conveying something before hand and double posting, while not really heavily enforced, makes me feel guilty.
Here's hoping that this tag'll give you a notification.
If you still need help with proofreading I'll be here trying to give quick quality work~
My participation is not guaranteed, though, actually doing proofreading for a manga group now. (Between you and me, I'm the only one making them readable)
I'll probably leave first draft here, then post improved version there. If somebody will point out mistakes on the site, we'll fix them anyway.
Thank you for your help, though! It's much appreciated.
Panel 1
- Goddamnit. Turns out the clue I got from the hairy stranger wasn't the "mystery's missing link." It was just a scrap of paper with a question mark on it.
Panel 2
- What was I thinking? Someone deliberately misguided me. Me, Ropsenshtils. What happened to you, old pal? Promise me. Promise me that that would be the last time you'd trust an aggressive baboon. Although... Who am I kidding?
Panel 3
- After he woke up Shiznagsingerzuppe suggested we pay a visit to Margo's father, the owner of the missing two dimensional tomato breeder. She gave us the address at our first meeting. He owns a farm out of town.
- That was a good idea. Sometimes I think I should listen to my partner more often.
Notes:
- Reworded that first one a bit... hope you don't mind. It flows a lot better this way and it's a lot easier to understand.
Panel 5
- What's wrong with me, anyway? Maybe I'm a bad detective? Maybe I'm a bad person? Maybe I should think about the people around me? Those who care about me? Stop hurting them, maybe put it all to an end by driving this goddamn car into the next lamppost?
Notes:
- Again, reworded, restructured: better flow.
Panel 6
- Um... Ropsenshtils, relax. Your blood pressure goes up when you get nervous.
- My pressure is perfectly fine.
I don't understand the end-bit with the bee, probably something to do with high blood-pressure symptoms?
But for real, I think he could've represented it better by just making the thing explode, or maybe have ropshensthitlsas reach a hand to slap it or both.
Yeah? Our city is full of shit. I heard some folks say "But this is Shitopolis, it's supposed to be this way".
You're saying it, like corn could be related to something...
...Ominous...
If this is the victim's mansion, then we arrived. How long do you have to do selective breeding to get the castle out of it, I wonder?
That's not a castle. Just a lighthouse for Transilvanian olives. They grow up right on the skewers. And you must be those detectives Margo was telling me about.
Why do you think so?
Well, you're either detectives, or corpses of thieves trespassing on a private ground. And I didn't shoot you, hence you are detectives.
Smart. Wanna work with us?
Thanks, but I prefer dealing with vegetables.
What a coincidence, I'm dealing with them every day too. Speaking of which, this is Shiznagsingerzuppe, my colleague. I am Ropsenshtils.
Greetings, then. Come to my house, I was just going to have a diner.
Will your daughter join us?
She's, ehh, in the field, vaccinating corn.
Against what?
Malaria. Mosquitos are outragious this year.
That's strange. Your daughter doesn't look like a farm girl.
Son, you think such a seasoned breeder as me can't breed the village out of the girl?
If this is the victim's mansion, then we arrived. How long do you have to do selective breeding to get the castle out of it, I wonder?
2 things:
> Small change but I'd prefer if you use "we've" ergo, "If this is the victim's mansion, then we've arrived."
> "How long do you have to do selective breeding to get the castle out of it, I wonder?" I have an idea on what this means but... Please explain. If I remember correctly they're farmers, right? Because that would completely make my interpretation useless.
My best guess is how long you've got to work doing selective breeding to earn enough for a 'castle?'
If so, use this: "How long do you have to do selective breeding to get a castle out of it, I wonder?"
Greetings, then. Come to my house, I was just going to have a diner.
"Greetings, then. Come to my house, I was just about to have dinner"
or if you want it to be closer to the original translation:
"Greetings, then. Come to my house, I was just going to have some dinner."
I'd personally choose the first one.
My best guess is how long you've got to work doing selective breeding to earn enough for a 'castle?'
If so, use this: "How long do you have to do selective breeding to get a castle out of it, I wonder?"
Yeah, pretty much. There is whole thing in Russian about "[smb] earned it via blowjobs" in one word. He used another word which accounts to "earned it via selective breeding". I had to paraphrase. 'A castle' is exactly what I need, thanks.
ehehehe
That's a thing, I'd like to get your opinion on. In russian he used anti-encephalitis vaccine, this desease being transferred by mites. Those could be found in parks or out of town in spring, so it's a common practice to get shots against encephalitis if you're going to be out of town. The joke is I guess that they are vaccinating corn, cause mites supposed to be rampant.
I wasn't sure if encephalitis was something people in US for example would be aware of, so I decided to go with another desease. Was I right?
Also in the last sentence there was a pun. Farmer said that he took the village out of a girl, but the word he used also means 'breed out' as well as 'took out'. Is it still understandable?
That's a thing, I'd like to get your opinion on. In russian he used anti-encephalitis vaccine, this desease being transferred by mites. Those could be found in parks or out of town in spring, so it's a common practice to get shots against encephalitis if you're going to be out of town. The joke is I guess that they are vaccinating corn, cause mites supposed to be rampant.
Don't live in the US but I think you did a good job.
No idea what encephalitis is but everyone should at least know what malaria is.
I DON'T THINK THE DISEASE IS IMPORTANT ANYWAYS, THE FUNNY BIT IS THE IDEA OF MOSQUITOES TRANSMITTING DISEASES TO CORN BUT DISSECTING COMEDY IS KINDA...
Also in the last sentence there was a pun. Farmer said that he took the village out of a girl, but the word he used also means 'breed out' as well as 'took out'. Is it still understandable?
I think it's fine as it is...
I mean, I don't understand the pun anyways lmao.
"Son, you think such a seasoned breeder as me can't breed the village out of the girl?"
I can actually change this to become more 'grammar friendly/correct' but I've actually grown to love how it's structured here. ALSO ADDITIONAL QUESTION: you sure the farmer doesn't have an accent in the original script? I'm not used to it but I can do accents if you need it.
I must say that was a great dinner, sir. What course was that?
Four litres of whiskey.
Sounds exquisite. French cuisine?
No. Scottish.
I'll keep it in mind. And now is a good time to investigate the crime scene, I think.
I'll demonstrate it gladly.
One moment. Let's go, Zuppe.
The tomato was stolen from my experimental greenhouse where I breed cultivars of two-dimensional plants.
It's flat.
My daughter Margo is flat. Greenhouse is two-dimensional.
How do you suppose to search for clues in such compartment?
Don't worry. Science provided us with an answer to such question. In order to freely gather clues in the two-dimensional greenhouse, you should become two-dimensional yourself. I'm working on two-dimensional corn right now with the help of this unique contraption...
...a special scientific agricultural roadroller.
Now, lay on the ground while I'm fine-tuning this sensitive device for a work with a human body.
Proofread:
Panel 2:
- "I'll keep that in mind. Now is a good time to investigate the crime scene, I think."
- "I'll gladly show it."
Panel 5:
- "My daughter Margo is flat. The greenhouse is two-dimensional."
- "How do you suppose we search for clues in such a compartment?"
Panel 6:
- "Don't worry. Science has provided us with an answer. In order to freely gather clues in the two-dimensional greenhouse you should become two-dimensional yourself. I'm working on two-dimensional corn right now with the help of this unique contraption..."
Panel 7:
- "Now, lay on the ground while I fine-tune this sensitive device to work with the human body."
The best strip so far, imo.
It's nice and the jokes are quick and relentless. The wit and humour are nice considering just this strip but I found it great in conjunction with the build-up of the previous strips. It's like the wit and humour and charm I couldn't find on the previous strips all went into this one.
Here's hoping the following strips are just as good!
ALSO, I WAS CONFUSED AGES AGO BUT IT TURNS OUT IT'S LITERAL TWO-DIMENSIONAL CROPS
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