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Scientists Link DDB to Rapidly Approaching Annie Singularity

Kai

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Scientists Link DDB to Rapidly Approaching Annie Singularity
News • Science & Technology • Jan 3, 2014

Z1stIcE.png


MEYRIN, SWITZERLAND — According to a new study released this week by CERN Professor of Molecular Energy Johan Rekel, the physical plane we inhabit may be rapidly approaching a singularity event tied directly to the frequency of Skullheart user DDB's queries about Annie's inclusion in the game Skullgirls.

“Though it's important that we've released these findings, I fear we may have already passed the 'when's Annie?' event horizon,” said the 31-year-old scientist, shaking his head. “I want to believe that we can counteract what's happening, but... I don't know.”

“At this point, most of the posts about Annie are actually just imprint events from other timelines collapsing into our own,” Rekel continued. “How do you moderate time slippage!?”

Throughout the study, numerous milestone events were described, including the first-ever time that DBB inquired about Annie's possible appearance in the game on July 26th, 1977. Another entry detailed DDB's alarmingly extensive collection of Annie, Girl Of The Stars memorabilia, which (in conjunction with the volumes of Annie rule 34) has inexplicably become the focal point of the dimensional rift currently expected to engulf all of known existence.

"It's a matter of priorities, at this point," said Michael Zaimont, main programmer and public face of Skullgirls developer Lab Zero. "We're not working on putting Annie in the game right now. I mean, yeah, singularity or whatever, but we've got commitments to meet."

“And besides, we've got Robo Fortune coming,” Zaimont went on to say. “That's at least as exciting as Annie, am I right?”

At current rates, the Annie Singularity is expected to occur at 7:18 AM on May 8th, 2014. As of press time, DDB had been informed of his role in the impending cataclysm and was quoted as saying, "when's Annie?"

As millions gathered outside of their chosen religious institution, seeking some refuge against the impending doom poised to rend apart their very existence, a few devoted scientists continue to monitor the situation. The hour has come and gone, but existence as we know it has gone seemingly unchanged.

Seemingly being the operative word, however. Initial reports from the scientific community have revealed that all signs of Annie Rays (the background radiation that lets scientists detect Annie) have disappeared. A new series of signs have been detected, though, and the scientific community has begun to call these waves, "Anti-Annie."

"It's remarkable!" said scientist Johan Rekel, still alive after the proposed end of the world. "Instead of destroying our own universe, the Annergy transferred to another plane of existence, creating an entirely new dimension made up entirely of Annie!"

"It appears all signs of Annie are gone from our world."

Several cults have sprung up in the hours following the news, claiming that Annie has now ascended to Godhood, while most have simply written off the entire event as either a hoax or a historic misunderstanding. One scientist felt that none of these was correct, though.

"We'll never be able to fully determine what happened, in truth." Ken Renoit, head of the Theoretical Physics department at MIT, had a fringe theory. "But I believe that all signs of Annie are gone forever, and Annie will never, ever, ever be seen here in playable form."

"To enter the dimension where Annie is everything, you'd have to build some kind of crude, home-made interdimensional travel device, but I frankly can't think of anyone crazy enough to try that."
 
OMG!!!!

I even know what i say now...
 
All we need now is our own equivalent of Kelly cartoons and this community will be heading in an exciting new direction.
 
All we need now is our own equivalent of Kelly cartoons and this community will be heading in an exciting new direction.
That WOULD be amazing.

I can already see a comically overdone Mike Z buffing Filia again because he hates America.
 
Very relevant news. This definitely needed to be on the front page. Keep it up, SG community!
 
Hm. Only approaching?

Does the singularity at least mean it's Annie time?
 
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Hm. Only approaching?

Does the singularity at least mean it's Annie time?
I'm pretty sure that according to the laws of relativity, which in this case mean the faster you are posting the slower in time you move, Annie has already happened and you missed it. The rest of us have enjoyed Annie and are now old men. Skullgirls has already become a lost masterpiece with 47 characters (13 of which were Annie), and you are somehow still posting in a board filled with cobwebs and forgotten dreams.
 
So you're saying she's coming.
 
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You guys are awesome.
 
So, is DDB mad that you guys made this? I personally find this hilarious. :D

Muro's right; the news section is in good hands. :D
 
Mrs Victoria > Annie
Awww shiet... better run to my anti shit storm bunker... I can feel a big storm comin'.
 
Awww shiet... better run to my anti shit storm bunker... I can feel a big storm comin'.

Bitch, have you seen me in the SG community. I create storms for delight. Nevertheless, this time I am only speaking the truth. Anyone want to prove anything is better than Mrs Victoria? Come at me bro.
 
Bitch, have you seen me in the SG community. I create storms for delight. Nevertheless, this time I am only speaking the truth. Anyone want to prove anything is better than Mrs Victoria? Come at me bro.
Lisa is better than Ms. Victoria... but Lisa isn't in SG... Uhh... have you ever seen dem hips on Double? Sexy.
 
So, is DDB mad that you guys made this? I personally find this hilarious. :D

Muro's right; the news section is in good hands. :D
Quite the opposite, I enjoy that this has happened.
 
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No one cares about Annie. Umbrella's inevitable conquest of everything is fast approaching. Salt only hastens her war campaign of ICE CREAM AND DEATH! And then we can begin the wait for No Evil.
 
um could some one explain the original post in common english for me? What parts are jokes whats parts are real?
 
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LOLLOLOL with this article, you guys have reached the highest rung on the ladder of human thought.
 
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... has inexplicably become the focal point of the dimensional rift currently expected to engulf all of known existence.

"It's a matter of priorities, at this point," said Michael Zaimont,

lol what a transition! Mike Z pragmatic to the end. lol
 
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Throughout the study, numerous milestone events were described, including the first-ever time that DBB inquired about Annie's possible appearance in the game on July 26th, 1977.

“And besides, we've got Robo Fortune coming,” Zaimont went on to say. “That's at least as exciting as Annie, am I right?”

#DEAD
 
Due to a scheduling conflict, future appearances of Annie will be portrayed by Hunico.
 
Obviously the Annie in motion thread has accelerated the pace of the impending Doomsday, so there's only one option...

Return to the past and undo the future that is Skullmageddon.

3WpAkFg.jpg
 
It occurred to me. Alex has known it was coming for a while.

Annie-and-the-Fern-skullgirls-32190419-712-565.jpg
 
If we were to go by my EST time frame...

We have 38 minutes.
 
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Annie is now, Annie is all.

This is where it all truly begins.

Be ready, Starchildren. We are now one with The Stars themselves.
 
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Anniepocalypse has been reported to have begun in the West Coast of America now!
 
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Wait, what happens today?

Edit: *reads OP*

oh right that star thing
 
May 8th 2014 - Annie Singularity
Annie - green outfit, green hair

May 8th 2014 - SCEJ Fukua build and XBLA Fukua patch submitted
Fukua - green outfit, green hair
TeQlKba.gif
 
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I gotta build that device.
 
zWy7v9u.png


But what if Nightphyre was just a few days off on the whole "Anniepocalypse" thing?
 
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May 8, 2014
Annie is now, Annie is all.

This is where it all truly begins.

Be ready, Starchildren. We are now one with The Stars themselves.
Wait, this was my birthday
guys help me
help meeeeee