Skullgirls storyline, as told by someone who doesn't play it

[missingno]

A friend of mine has been doing a thing where he attempts to retell the story of games he knows little to nothing about. It's beautiful and I just had to share it here.

there's this girl
named marie
and her best friend
peacock
idk what her real name is
any way
they're both playing around in some playground
they dig up some magic skull
marie touches it
it slowly drives her nuts
and since peacock is her best friend
she gets all sorts of weird powers too
eventually
Marie just goes nuts
runs away
i think she finds shelter in like a sewer or cemetary
something like that
no one hears from her for years
that's like the prelude
so then there's this girl
parasoul
she's like a pseudo-nazi
she controls this city like a nazi would
but people actually like her
and she's not racist
just really strict
i'm guessing weird stuff has been happening in her city
since marie is just chilling in a sewer causing weird stuff to happen
so she goes out to figure out what's going on
that's parasoul's story
then there's filia
she has like a parasite on her head
i think marie caused that too?
somehow?
any way
her story is that i think she's friends with painwheel
some girl that got kidnapped by another character
valentine
valentine performed some crazy experiment on her
now she's a weird freak
and i think Filia feels responsible for what happened?
then there's cerebella
she has a magic hat?
also created by marie maybe?
she works for the mafia as like a bouncer or something
and in her story her enemy is that crazy cat girl
uh
Miss Fortune
that's it
she's like a zombie
I think she died but Marie brought her back to life somehow?
but her main story is that she wants to steal some fancy diamond that Cerebella is supposed to protect
then there's beowulf
he's just a washed up pro wrestler
not sure how he's involved in the story
then there's big band
he gets involved because peacock is like
"you're a cop, find my missing friend"
and big band is like
"ok"
so that's their story
Eliza is the egyptian girl
I think she's working with Marie?
Her goal is to take the SG power for herself
oh yeah that's important
the Skull Girl thing can grant a wish
so they're all after it
and i guess Eliza organizes like a semi-tournament
like
people don't sign up
but she tricks people into fighting each other
which is why the story mode battles happen
anyway
i think Filia is the canonical winner of the tourney?
her wish is that pain wheel was back to normal
and she gets her wish
but it turns out that there is of course some crazy side-effect
she becomes the next marie
or w/e it's called
oh yeah
and Peacock is mad at Filia because when she beat Marie she like totally destroyed Marie's body
so she killed Peacock's best friend
but Big Band is like
"I lost a friend too"
and in their ending they mourn together over some sunset
yeah
that's the end
there's also some other characters
like Fukua and Robo Fortune
but they aren't relevant to the story
maybe fukua might be?
I guess she came about after Filia won the tourney
and was another side effect of killing marie
but Robo Fortune is a joke character
oh yeah
i forgot squiggly
she gets killed by eliza i think?
at her 14th birthday party
and then she comes back to life cuz marie
and she helps Filia to win the tourney
and then in her ending
(which i think is kinda canonical)
she beats eliza
and is like
"you took everything from me and now i'm gonna kill you"
and filia is like
"no"
she goes on to say how she has to be better than her or something
so she spares eliza
then she dies
but this time on her own terms
and Filia and not-crazy Painwheel are like the only ones at her second funeral
i think i forgot double
I think her (it?) story is that she (it?) wants to eat all the other characters
but of course that's not canon
ok
i think i covered everything

 

[PastelOctoling]

This is beautiful.

 

[superj3]

Is this poetry?

 

[KaboomKid]

Wow, I bet this is how Hollywood's live-action movie adaptation would go.

 

[HiroProtagonest]

Wow, I bet this is how Hollywood's live-action movie adaptation would go.

It doesn't have any unnecessary romantic subplots.

 

[superj3]

Wow, I bet this is how Hollywood's live-action movie adaptation would go.

Be careful!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[KaboomKid]

It doesn't have any unnecessary romantic subplots.

It's Hollywood man! Peacock x Big Band. Cock's getting aged up, and Band's getting aged down.

 

[Raging_Zoroark]

"but her main story is that she wants to steal some fancy diamond that Cerebella is supposed to protect"

Cerebella confirmed Knuckles.

 

[HiroProtagonest]

"but her main story is that she wants to steal some fancy diamond that Cerebella is supposed to protect"

Cerebella confirmed Knuckles.

Well duh, don't you know what game this is?

Spoiler