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Video Game Cheese/Narm

Squire Grooktook

Squire Grooktook

The wind blew all day long
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*X4 Zero*

This was the unfortunately the first thing that came to my mind.

Uhh how do I do what you guys just did?
 
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I've been meaning to swing back by here and mention one developer I'm amazed that I forgot about. Of course, I'm talking about American Laser Games.

Tip of the cheeseberg here:

If you went to any popular arcade in the 90's, you could bet on seeing one of their giant stations at center stage. They weren't cheap either. I think most places had you pay at least $2 for one round, which you were almost guaranteed to lose.

What's crazy is that apparently some of their stuff still gets ported. It almost makes me wonder what games like this would be like if they were still being made today.
 
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I think this guy does justice to any and all bad lines.





(Episode 4 omitted because it was about Christian Bale's infamous on-set meltdown.)
 
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KaboomKid said:
Oh man, cheese makes some games even more epic than they already are.

ASK THE POLICE!

THEEEEE MY POWAAAAAAAH! XD

And that's just the first boss, the whole game is packed with narm charm.
 
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KaboomKid said:
No way we can talk about cheesy run and gun shooters without bringing up NARC. What other game can offer you a real job after blowing up hordes of dogs, crackheads, and hookers?
Not to mention that WTF of a Final Boss.

Winners_Dont_Use_Drugs.png
 
Squire Grooktook said:
If anyone got some good examples, show em off here.

ROBO BABES!!!

Believe it or not I encountered a cracked copy of Metal and Lace way back in '99. It is a horrifically simplistic fighting game, interspersed with hentai. I was able to reach the end with relatively little trouble by finding an exploit which allowed me to get unlimited money. Then I picked ANNA armor, and turtled to victory in every fight.

It is unquestionably narmy though. From the overly endowed kleptomaniac "towel girl", to the church which gives peep shows in exchange for tithes. Along with some very memorable lines like "I've got your mother on the phone if you want to cry." and "What are you doing with your tongue!?"

Just don't expect an actual fighting game if you go looking for it.
 
BlackRoseAngel said:
Believe it or not I encountered a cracked copy of Metal and Lace way back in '99. It is a horrifically simplistic fighting game, interspersed with hentai. I was able to reach the end with relatively little trouble by finding an exploit which allowed me to get unlimited money. Then I picked ANNA armor, and turtled to victory in every fight.

It is unquestionably narmy though. From the overly endowed kleptomaniac "towel girl", to the church which gives peep shows in exchange for tithes. Along with some very memorable lines like "I've got your mother on the phone if you want to cry." and "What are you doing with your tongue!?"

Just don't expect an actual fighting game if you go looking for it.

Heheh, good job finding such an obscure piece of work. I'll have to find a longplay or something some time for that mother line.

Also we don't have an engrish thread so I guess this is good enough. There are like 30 things I could quote from this video, but I'll just leave it at:You do what


Also this definitely motivates me to continue
 
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I'm sad that Chaos Wars hasn't been posted yet. It is highly believed that the relatives (kids) of the publishing team did the VO.

 
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