Disclaimer: this post probably goes all over the place. I still have a lot to learn with words. This post also ended up sounding a bit hostile because your posts remind me of past-me and I have some pent-up anger I guess :x
So alright, this is coming from someone who used to pull shit like this in his early forum days (and I'm responding to you here because I know you're going to look at this thread anonymously while signed out of your account. I would've).
I used to do stuff like this when I was younger. It's basically giving yourself a reason to not try as hard as necessary to be successful at things, and it's the same type of thing you posted in the yaya kumite thread (which is also similar to what you said to me a few days ago when we played a set).
When you say things like "I'm not accepted" or "I wasn't trying," it's disrespectful and probably a lie. If you tell somebody that you weren't trying (when clearly you were) that's a straight-up insult to their skill level, the time they dedicated to both playing the game and (on a smaller scale) the time they dedicated to playing you. When you say that we as a community don't accept you, that's an insult to ALL OF US. Consider the hospitality you were given during NEC where hops let you into his room along with EVERYONE ELSE. Rather than think "what can I do to win/improve" or "what can I do to get people to like me more" you just give yourself a reason to give up, and blame your disinterest in the game or the fact that the community doesn't accept you (which once again I want to state is not true at all).
When I met you at NEC you were a really friendly guy and I enjoyed talking to you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't have spent 40-some minutes playing though Final Fight with you. But when you seek approval from your peers by trying to make us feel sorry for you can you not see why that is grating to some people? The best advice I can give you is to just mellow out a bit and realize when you make excuses like these it can be interpreted as insulting to others. You're not like this in person, but for many members of the community, skullheart is people's only exposure to you, and when they see things like this thread it certainly doesn't help. As Flotilla said, this is way over-dramatic for something you could have just played off as a joke and the community would have forgotten about eventually.
Ok, I lied, the ACTUAL best advice I can give you is to come to more tourneys! I know you say it's difficult for you but I'm sure if you try hard enough and save some moolah you can come to at least a couple per year. Or, heck, just take an extended introspective break and come back whenever you're ready. Regardless, I hope you don't actually stop playing the game and I doublehope I can see you at a tourney sometime soon. :)