I'm... sorry. As I readied the account to ship all 2 mil (because the team should get a raise) I was ambushed by... The Something, which randomly changes its shape and method of attack with each encounter. Unfortunately, this attack came in the form of harpies, which I slew valiantly with a folding chair, a bottle of insecticide, shoulder pads, and a copy of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. However, instead of dying and showering me in glorious Cheerios, it actually regenerated in the form of Anja's Father's Lost Bits of Fingers, which turns out to be the final boss in the game. Without incarnations, I instead had to rely on a cooler, some gum, a rolled up carpet, and a broken copy of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. When I defeated him and the body was left over, I used the severely destroyed copy of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze to dig a grave, give him a proper burial, and use the manual for Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze as a grave marker.
After all this, I went inside and realized the real purpose of the attack! To steal my OTHER copy of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. I then went on a long trek, fighting various things and having many adventures to get back the OTHER copy of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, now considered a slightly ruffled copy of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. Afterwards, I treked back to my Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze shrine and placed the slightly ruffled copy of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze with the rest of them.
Then I realized why all this had happened. The gods did not want me to donate 2 million dollars to this campaign. Sadly, I went for the next best thing and donated a bunch of copies of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, along with a specific amount of cash that could be used to buy several copies of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze.
So that's why I couldn't donate 2 million dollars to the campaign and instead donated enough money to buy several copies of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. I'm now off to play approximately 1 million dollars worth of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. Please don't ask me to tell you how I came into possession of 1 million dollars worth of Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. That is a story for another time.
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze