Every WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!? down in Whoville liked English a lot
But the Skull Face who lived just North of Whoville did not!
The Skull Face hated English! The whole language treason!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that his mask was too tight.
It could be his hat wasn't set on just right.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his Sahelanthropus was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, his Mech or his shoes,
He stood there cursing English and hating the WHOOOOOOOOO?!'s,
Staring down from his chopper with a sour, grimy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town,
For he knew every WHOOOOOOOO?! down in Whoville beneath
Was busy now chatting away an english speech.
"Sahelanthropus is nearly complete," he snarled with a sneer.
"The death of all English! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his skeleton fingers nervously dreading,
"I must find some way to keep English from spreading!
For, tomorrow, I know all the WHOOOOOOOOOOO?! girls and boys
Will wake in (The devils house). They'll speak with such joys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
There's one thing I hate! All the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
They'll scream bits of russian, latin and bohemian squeals, racing 'round on their heels.
They'll continue on with Kikongo, Dine, Navajo and Nicaraguan speils
They'll blather on about irrelevant things like their homes, families and friend
They'll whine about wanting to go home, wanting to see the sun, when will the war end?
And then they'll make grim ear-splitting noises you see
As they're gunned down and hunted, screaming in their misery.
Sans Lingua Franca.
And then they'll do something I hate most of all!
Every WHOOOOOOOOOO?! down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
They'll stand close together, with sirens ringing.
They'll stand hand-in-hand, and those WHOOOOOOOOOOO?!'s will start singing!"
WHOOOOOAAAAAA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WORDS THAT KIIIIIIIIIIIIILL
WOULD YOU SPEEEEEEEAK THEM TO ME
WITH YOUR BREEEEEEEEEEATH
SO STILL
IT MAKAAAAAAAES ME BELIEVE
OUUUUUUUUR SALVATION LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES
IN THE FATHERS SIINS
BEYOND THE TRUTH
LET ME SUUUFFFEER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW
"And they'll sing! And they'll sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!"
And the more the Skull face thought of this WHOOOOOOOOOOO?! language Sing,
The more the Skull face thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
Why for forty-nine years I've put up with it now!
I must stop keep English from spreading! But how?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Skull face got a wonderful, awful idea!
"I know just what to do!" The Skull face laughed with a gloat.
"I'll make a parasite that will destroy English from the very person's throat!."
"All I need is a sample." The Skull face looked around.
But since parasites are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the Skull face? Hah! He simply said,
"If I can't find a Sample, I'll make one instead!"
So he visited the old man, and he took some gold bells.
And he pursuaded the man, every chime a death knell.
Then he loaded some bags and his sample in a glass can
On a ramshackle jeep and he whistled for the man.
Then the Skull face said "Hop in!" and the car started down
Toward the place where the WHOOOOOOOO's lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. No one knew he was there.
All the WHOOOOOOOOOOO's were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little block of the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Skeleton man hissed,
As he climbed to the roof, parasites brimming in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight place.
But if parasites could do it, then so could the face.
He got stuck only once, for a minute or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little WHOOOOOOOOOOlings lay all in a row.
"The french language," he scoffed, "is the first thing to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasent,
Around the whole room, and he took everyones presence!
Alliterations, Exclamations, Prononciations, and Sounds!
Expositions, Propositions, Interjections, and Bounds!
Then he left the room laughing with glee.
"Now," grinned the Skull Face, "Second Kikongo will be!"
As the Skull face reached for the strand, as he started to shove,
He heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?
Paz Andre Ortega Who, who looked more than Twenty two.
She stared at the man and said, "Skull face, why,
Why are you taking our peace? Why?"
But, you know, that old XO was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little schoolgirl," the fake grim reaper tisked,
"My Hate fairy sensed vengeance, your peace is at risk!"
"So I'm reporting it back to Cipher, my dear.
I'll wrap it up there, then I'll bring it back here."
It was quarter of dawn. All the WHOOOOOOOOOOOO?!'s still a-sleep,
All the WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!?'s still a-snooze, when he packed up his jeep,
Packed it up with their futures, their dreams, their ramblings,
Their laughter and their happiness, their joy and blatherings!
Ten thousand feet out, he drove through the sands,
He rode with his load, awaiting the world in silence to join hands!
"Pooh-pooh to the WHOOOOOOOOOOOO's!" he began to adore.
"They're finding out now that no language is safe anymore!
They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then the WHOOOOOOOOO!?'s down in Whoville will all speak a language of nukes!
That's a noise," grinned the man, "that I simply must hear!"
He paused, and the Skull Face put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the ridge.
It started in low, then it started to grow.
I'M NUUUUUUUUUUCELAAAAAARRR
I'M WIIIIIIIILLLDDDDD
I'M BREEEEAAAAKING UP INSIIIIIDE
A HEART OF BROKEN GLAAAASSSSS
DE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILED
DEEEEEEEEP INSIDE
THE ABANDDOOOONED CHILD
But this sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded glad!
Every WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!? down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing without any side effects at all!
He hadn't stopped Language from spreading! It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Skull face, with his hands ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so?
It came without fear! It came without mad!
It came without vengance, fury, or sad!"
He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Skull Face thought of something he hadn't before.
Maybe Nukes, he thought, don't come from a store.
Maybe Nukes, perhaps, means a little bit more!
And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say
That the Sahelanthropus stood up and grew three sizes that day!
And then the true meaning of nukes came through,
And the Skull face was crushed by the strength of ten skull faces, plus two!
"SUCH A LUST FOR REVENGE" The skull face screeched
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?" his voice died as the weight crushed him underneath
But from atop the huge mech, only one voice did land.
A scientist who pointed to the skull Face, a gun in his hand.
"I DID IT, REVENGEEEEE!!!"
