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Naïve/Stupid things you thought as a kid.

My mother used to tell me if i scratched my eye enough, it would enter my head more, i used to scratch my eye a lot, i still do.
 
I thought numbers stopped existing past a thousand.
 
Based on pictures in the encyclopedia, I figured (assuming no genitals = 0) that since a guy has something more than zero (because junk) and a girl has less than zero (because hole), it would be only fair if the guy gave his surplus thing to the girl. I like to consider it inventing sex in theory before I knew sex was a thing.

Then a bit later when I knew sex is a thing, I assumed a guy gets a girl pregnant by peeing while inside her. So close yet so far.

For a third note on the esteemed topic of genitals and peeing, I thought all girls and women envied guys that they have a penis. I therefore always made sure to keep my peeing as quiet and splash-less as possible, to avoid them possibly hearing it and feeling bad due to me reminding them about what they don't have.
 
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Thats why he's still a kid.
 
For some reason, I used to think that Tails Doll was a real thing. So much so, it took me a while until I decided to sleep on my own. Also my grammar back then was the stuff of legends.
 
This is literally the only thing from my childhood that I can remember,mostly because of how silly it sounded.
This was back when Raw and Smackdown were rivals with each other and we were slowly losing the attitude left over from the Attitude Era.
Anyways,I used to think my dad was the Undertaker and I'd try to keep an eye on him so he didn't go to the arena.4 year old me must've though that if I turned around,he'd sneak off to the arena.Funny thing is,Dad would leave whenever an Undertaker match would take place.I used to get so shocked at the fact that he "snuck off".I'd keep asking him how he did it,but I never got an answer.
This stopped when I turned six and realized that Dad wasn't the Undertaker and they looked nothing like each other.In fact,the Undertaker is taller than my dad.But Dad can do that thing where he can roll his eyes back into his head.
 
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During a vacation to a summer village there was a large group of Germans and my brother told jokingly to my dad that they were all nazis.
I then assumed that since they were nazis you shouldn't have talked to them or they would have gotten angry.
(No my brother doesn't think all Germans are nazis, maybe it was a thing to affect me I dunno)

One of my first memories is about me having a dream of me seeing a bunch of people leaving on a toy train, and among those people there was my mother. I was sleeping with my parents that night and when I awoke I thought my mother wasn't really her but an impostor, but just for that night.
 
When I was younger, I was convinced that kids didn't "grow" into adults. I thought that adults just kinda showed up in the world being adults, and that kids showed up being kids and stayed like that forever.

I thought that Scandinavia was a fictional place.

I thought if you looked at a painting from a different angle, the painting would change its image to accommodate. As if it were a statue instead of a painting.

I thought that if I wasn't asleep by precisely 8:00 PM, a big monster would come through the TV and proceed to eat my face. Nice parenting, Dad.

I thought that music on the radio was good.

I thought I'd grow up and be the president of the United States. With the way politics are now, not going to happen.

I thought that if I opened my eyes underwater, they'd dissolve and I'd be blind.

I thought superheroes were real. Ended up getting myself bitten by a spider intentionally in hopes I'd become the new Spiderman.

I thought I could make a living off of a lemonade stand. As in, multi-millionaire.

I thought that if you died in a videogame, you'd die in real life. Funny enough, the game that finally convinced me otherwise was Left 4 Dead. Not the kind of game you'd want to test that on, huh?

I thought people were generally decent human beings :/
 
I thought anime were just more american cartoons

I thought if I focused my energy hard enough I could go super saiyan or do a kamehameha

I thought girls had cooties

I thought if I prayed hard enough God would give me a pet pokemon
 
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At some point I figured out that light sabers were swords.
 
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HeadcrabNinja said:
I thought if I prayed hard enough God would give me a pet pokemon

I prayed for God to kill my mom a few times. Bitch is still alive.
 
My friend told me he had Pokemon in his backyard. I even went to his house to see. He didn't let me into his backyard. I was pissed.
I thought Runescape was good.
I thought I could have magic from Kingdom Hearts if I believed really hard.
I prayed really hard that I could go to Narnia. (Funny because Narnia is just Heaven, It was essentially wishing to die)
 
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Once I was walking by a really mossy man made pond and thought the moss was grass

You can imagine how that turned out.
 
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Cheesedragon said:
What taught you the opposite?
A couple things, actually:
-I discovered the internet. So much more information available.
-I turned on the television one day and found out that humans had dumped hundreds of thousands of gallons of oil on animals. It was an accident, of course, but younger me was thinking "THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE CAREFUL!"
-Middle school.
 
DapperEntity said:
-Middle school.
giphy.gif


Why does it always have to be the worst
 
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School wasn't so bad. Granted I slept through pretty much all of it, but still.
 
ArgonBern said:
giphy.gif


Why does it always have to be the worst

Well there's always my 5th and 6th grade year. Though that might be because everyone in my 5th grade class thought I was insane* and a teacher's pet while my best friend was the most alienated person in the class. My 6th grade year was full of black and hispanic edgelord fags, particularly in P.E. and Tech. I was lucky afterwards when most of my classes were Honors classes with the exception of French (which I've now switched out for Marketing Tech).


*Insane being that I would begin to express distaste for shows at the time (i.e. iCarly, Fanboy and ChumChum, etc.), and I began to disagree with them often on activities. Otherwise, I was mostly socially awkward, likely because I was one of the slowest people in the school or those few rare occassions where I was curious about what a marker or sanitizer smells like. Alternative reasons also include my obsession with WarCraft III, Maplestory, and Roblox and/or being highly vulnerable to breakdowns.
 
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MetroKoolAid said:
I still sleep through it in College.

I'd be doing that if I could afford college lol.
 
that all adults could be trusted and looked up to
 
Arcana said:
I thought sleeping around was a bad thing

That's what happens when you're raised in a country of prudes.
 
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Arcana said:
I thought sleeping around was a bad thing

Well, is it? It's kind of a complex issue. I'm as pro-sex (and horny) as you can get but the idea of having dozens of partners is kinda meh to me. I would rather find that perfect person and sex them every day of the week.
 
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I though that eating food while playing video games made me better at video games on the Ps1.
 
ArgonBern said:
I thought that was true
Yeah...at least i got past that freaking level in rayman 2.

*i forgot about this thought after i got my ps2*
 
Cheesedragon said:
Well, is it? It's kind of a complex issue. I'm as pro-sex (and horny) as you can get but the idea of having dozens of partners is kinda meh to me. I would rather find that perfect person and sex them every day of the week.
I mean im just saying its not a bad thing, like i cant just hook up with random guys that I dont know well and obv finding the perfect person would be the best thing, but judging people who do is really shitty, especially when ur friends are into that stuff. plus sex is fun and stuff imo
 
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